School Savior

How much impact does a school really have on the development of a child? Is the life of my child different because he goes to one school or another? Certainly as an educator I believe the answers to these questions are clear but never did I see the impact of a school more than this past year.

First a bit of history:

My oldest son, Yaakov, was a very happy baby. He seemed to always be laughing and smiling. One time while he was sleeping we heard odd sounds from his crib and upon further inspection found him laughing in his sleep. After that stage he became a major talker and would engage anyone willing to talk with him. We were thrilled with his progress and excited for his future

Then he began school.

From the time he started until first grade, there was a slow progression of dysfunction. It started with a strong desire to stay home and when his pleas stopped being effective, he began developing unexplained physical issues. At this time he began chewing his clothes. At first it was just the bottom of his sleeve, but it slowly developed to a point when he would return from school with his entire shirt drenched in saliva! He began acting out when he was with his friends and was becoming a class clown. On field trips he was “paired” with students who had significant developmental delays. In retrospect these signs of distress are abundantly clear, but as it happened, it was harder to see how much difficulty he was having. At my wife’s suggestion, we took Yaakov to a psychologist for a full round of educational testing.

The results were life altering.

Dr. Lori Wilson found that Yaakov had an IQ that was shocking. His scores put him in 99.7th percentile in intellectual abilities for children in his age range. She also found that he had significant weaknesses in performance tests. In many areas, there was a 40 point differential between his IQ and performance scores (in his reading ability, there was actually a 70 point differential!) These results indicated a significant learning disorder, specifically in the area of reading. In other words, he was dyslexic. She suggested a number of options. I remember leaving her office with mixed emotions. On one hand we found out that our child had an IQ that was off the charts but at the same time he was now labeled as dyslexic. What does that mean? What happens to child with dyslexia? Would he have to leave our Jewish school? After reflection, professional consultation and rabbinic direction, we signed our son up to enter The Schenck School, a local private school for dyslexics.

This changed our son Yaakov’s life.

His new school celebrated his strengths and assisted him with his weaknesses. Over the next three years, a metamorphosis took place. He went from a timid, scared and insecure person to a confident, engaged and capable learner. His reading test scores went from being in the 2^nd percentile to the 98^th! Slowly he stopped chewing his shirt and he reengaged his old friends in a normal and healthy way. I shutter when I think of what would have happened to him if we would have kept him where he was. Who can imagine what ways (both consciously and otherwise) he would have found to compensate for the immense pain he would have experienced? How could we have ever built a solid Judaic identity on such a faulty emotional foundation?

We learned so much from this experience.

We learned about the profound impact of a learning disability. We learned how important it is to detect and intervene on behalf of a child struggling. We learned what a major difference a good school and teacher can have on a child. We learned that, in our case, Yaakov’s positive self concept translated into a positive and strong Jewish identity. Most of all, we are beginning to learn Yaakov’s wonderful potential in every area of life. Taking the difficult step of switching him from the comfortable Torah Day School to The Schenck School has helped Yaakov blossom into a young man with great dreams and the confidence to pursue those dreams.

For us a school had made quite a difference – it was a personal savior!