A Simple Equation

If I had to list the five most talked about subjects at the Torah Umesorah convention over the past years there is little doubt that cell phone use in Yeshivos would rank. I am exhausted by the energy and thought that has gone into this subject but the issue will just not go away. At this past convention, the topic was brought up again and again. Can a Yeshiva permanently confiscate a cell phone that is found? Can a mechanech look at text messages on a phone? Can a school make a rule forbidding the bringing of a phone when parents perceive the need as an issue of safety? These are just a sampling of the questions raised about this wireless wonder.

I had a number of personal conversations at this year’s convention that have me thinking.

Thursday Night

It started Thursday night with a very rational question raised by a mechanach who is starting a new Yeshiva. He asked me about our policy and was quite surprised when I explained that although we have a rule that forbids phone - many bachurim have them. "Aren’t you being mechanech them to break the rules if you have made a rule you know they are breaking and have no way to really enforce?" I reflected for a moment about this valid point and moved on to the next conversation.

Friday Morning

With this question still on my mind, I found my next conversation about this on Friday morning. I met an expert mechanech who runs a nontraditional out-of-town Yeshiva. His response shocked me. “I require ever bachor to have a cell phone – how else will I know where they are if I need them?” That was quite a different perspective. Is it possible to have a yeshiva with such a policy?

Shabbos Morning

Shabbos morning after davening I had a chance encounter with an assistant menahel from a well known Yeshiva who has a similar policy. He explained that he could not make a rule that he knew would be broken so blatantly. This yeshiva allows phone and even iPods but requires that the bachurim do not watch movies on the iPod. His response to the obvious question regarding the breaking of this rule was that he was confident that most bachurim did not have movies on their ipods. He also shared that when he returns to yeshiva he will work on keeping phones off when in the Bais Medrash or shiur. I respect his creative attempt at this and his deep seated desire to trust his bachurim.

This interaction reminded me of an idea that Rav Simcha Cook of Mechinas Ner Yisreal shared with me years ago. It turns out he is a prophet in addition to being an excellent mechanech. Every rule sets up a “dune” that slows the issue being addressed. This would be a classic example. If a yeshiva has a rule forbidding cell phones, even if there are many bachurim breaking the rule, it keeps all phones out of sight, limits the usage of the cell phones to private moments and places, and allows the rule followers good reason to avoid the cell phone. When a Yeshiva allows cell phones, even in a limited way, they show up everywhere, even in the bais medrash. When making any rules one must assume that it will be broken but the rule will mitigate the behavior of those breaking it none-the-less.

Motzei Shabbos

On Motzei Shabbos, I introduced myself to a well known Menahel of a major, main-stream Yeshiva . He shared with me a practice he used in his Yeshiva. He had many phone lines installed in his dorm as he began to enforce the cell phone rules more vigilantly. He felt that the expense of the many phones and lines was worth it, as he gave the bachurim opportunity to use the phones, in place of their soon-to-be confiscated cell phones. Although I am not sure how much practical impact this effort had on cell phone use, this approach shows respect and empathy for the bachurim.

Sunday Morning

My last encounter with this issue took place Sunday morning. A menahel was giving a talk about interacting with teenagers. He stressed how important giving the teenagers a sense of trust is. When asked about the use of cell phones, he responded that his yeshiva allows “kosher” cell phones in the dorm but not in the main Yeshiva building. He did not think this policy was destroying the yeshiva.

I left the convention unsure of many things.

Here are things I am pretty confident of:

1. Cell phones are part of the life of a modern teenager. It can be compared to a wristwatch of ancient (15 years ago) times

2. A high percentage of bachurim break the electronics rules at some point.

3. There is no real way to enforce rules against the use of cell phones and iPods on any regular basis.

4. Cell phones and iPods with web access can totally undermine serious growth in Torah and Yiras Shamayim.

So now the simple equation –

What does one plus two plus three plus four equal?

TU Convention Recollections 5770

Here are a number of recollections from the convention, anything you have a hard time believing didn’t happen… I must be recalling incorrectly.

Rabbi Frand gave two drashos, one on erev Shabbos about what it takes to be a great teacher and another on Shabbos afternoon about honesty. They were both memorable speeches. The speech on Shabbos afternoon was significant because although the conference theme was Raising Erlecha Yidin, there were few drashos directly on that theme. Rabbi Frand talked about the importance of honesty and how dishonesty has become part of our daily living to the point that we don’t even recognize it at times. He told a humorous story of two meshulachim in Baltimore, one was having trouble getting money from a specific gveer. The meshulach that had been more successful said he would tell the secret to getting money if the meshulach gave him 1/3 of the money he received. After they agreed he was told the key to the gveer’s heart. “Tell him your grandparents were from a specific city in Europe”. And so it was. He was happy to share 1/3 of the “profits” and they went different ways. The next year they both returned to the city and once again the meshulach employed his new trick and received a handsome donation but his year he refused to share any part of it. He claimed that the agreement was only for one year. When they couldn’t resolve the conflict they did what any decent Yid would do…they went to the Baltimore Bais Din of Rabbi Moshe Heineman. He was shocked at their blatant dishonesty and pointed out their need to return the money to the gveer calling them Gazlanim. Rabbi Frand reminded the crowd to be sensitive to the dishonesty that has become common place to the point that we cannot see it.
In continuing the theme of honesty there were two other discussions that related to this topic that come to mind.

At the “Ask the Godal” session on Thursday night a question was asked regarding the reading of text messages on a cell phone that has been confiscated. Rav Shmuel Kamenetzky and Rav Avraham Chaim Levine both strongly discouraged such behavior. They said that although in situations of great need perhaps it could be allowed but as a general practice it should be avoided. Rav Ahron Feldman stated that he had talked to Rav Eliyashiv about this very topic and he stated clearly that a mechanech can check the messages.

Another similar question was asked at the Motzie Shabbos session with Rav Avraham Chaim Levine. Can a menahel lie about a Talmid in order to get him into a Yeshiva? Once again Rav Levine said that one should avoid doing such because you do not want others to do it to you and you will lose credibility. After a discussion from the crowd, Rav Strauss of Lakewood NJ (who does placement) said that when he went to Rav Shtienman he was told that he can lie if he is confident that the bachor will succeed in the new Yeshiva. He also added that if it was a question he can lie because it is considered safek nefashos. Rabbi Strauss was very clear that he is always honest because he knows he must be to be taken seriously.

Another interesting question that was asked on Thursday night was regarding a Morah who has a big family and comes late to class. Can/should the menahel deduct money from her much needed salary. The reaction of the gedolim was swift and strong. Rav Shmuel said that after explaining the expectation to come on time such a teacher should be let go. Rav Feldman added that it could even be done mid-year. He quoted a story with a godal in Eretz Yisrael who when asked how a Rebbe who was let go would have money for food responded “I understand he needs money to eat bread but we do not have to let him eat children instead!”